Some (Seriously Spooky) House Hunters Episodes, As Written By The Toast's Mallory Ortberg

I don't know how to write for television. I mean, I have a general sense of how to format a script, if I'm being generous with myself, and I can imagine sitting around a table with a group of people saying something like "Does it make sense for the Commodore to be in that scene, or does it mess with the timestream?" (or whatever), but I don't really know how to become the sort of person who writes for television, professionally, other than continuing to write for not-television and periodically ...